Mixed feelings

Today Toby was discharged from services as a special needs child. It’s hard to know how to feel.

I had Toby’s IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting today. When your child qualifies as a special needs student, they give them an IEP, and they set goals for your child taking into account all the assessments by his therapists and teachers and things. The IEP is reviewed every couple of months to see how they’re doing, and once a year it’s redone completely. I’m used to these meetings by now – Toby’s been in therapy school for almost 4 years at this point.

Today was different. Today they told me how he had met all goals, and was at or above grade level in all areas. He no longer qualifies for services. He is considered a “typical” child.

This is awesome and amazing, and I knew it was coming. I am thrilled for him, and for the miracle that God has done in his life! How different from the first assessment – gross motor delay, fine motor delay, speech delay, extreme sensory processing disorder, hearing impairment. Years of OT, PT, speech therapy, food therapy, surgeries on his ears. My little guy is a walking miracle.

But I cried through the whole meeting. These people have been our lifeline for 4 years now. They are the ones through whom God did this miracle, and it is scary to think of going on without that safety net. I also cried thinking of all the fear and pain we’ve all been through when we didn’t know how it would be, when we never thought Toby would be “okay”. It’s a little overwhelming.

But I am so, so grateful. We are ready. I know Toby is ready – I’ve known it for months. He’s great. It’s a blessing. And with God’s help, we will remember to just enjoy every moment, and let God be in control. There is no one more trustworthy!

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