Archive for December, 2017

The Making of the New Album

Thursday, December 14th, 2017

Final cover image for the new album

Me with Jeff Kubach and the Trevecca guys, Collin, Tyler, and Elijah during the video shoot. These are all pictures from the videos, but really, watching people write a song is not super photogenic!

Setting up for A Greater Love

Sometimes four cameras pointed at you at once is intimidating, especially when there’s one just for your hands. Don’t miss any notes!!


A rooftop shot for How Far Love Goes

Shooting Forever Family

Piano scenes for Porch Swing

And, what else? Porch swing scenes for Porch Swing.

Given all that is going on around here, I know you will believe me when I say the fact that we have completed a new album is a miracle of God! Here’s the rundown of the making of the new album:

Earlier this year after much prayer, Nathan and I decided to commit to another album. This is a very expensive and time-consuming process, but it had become clear that I needed new songs given the shift in my speaking topics in the last several years. Basically, we had to decide if it was time to hang it up completely, or do another album. I do not feel any sense at all that God is done with our ministry, so an album it had to be. This was pretty daunting in a year when we knew we’d also be completing two adoptions from both a time and money perspective, but we knew if God wanted it to happen, He would make a way.

I had already written several songs, and I also started gathering song ideas and praying over what we needed in this new “toolkit” for ministry. I made an album plan and a writing plan for the songs that weren’t written yet.

In June, I went down to Nashville to write a few songs with my producer, Paul Marino. We’ve written many of my favorite songs together, and it was another challenging and fun artistic endeavor. I love the creative process, and to say, “I need a song about adoption, let’s make that” and then sit down and create something out of nothing is pretty darn fun. By the end of that trip, I had the album plan, the songs all written, arrangements done, and everything in place for them to start the recording sessions without me. In the past I’ve been super hands on, and have even co-produced or produced some of my past projects, but I’ve worked with Paul so much that I knew what I would be getting. He’s absolutely amazing, and I totally trust him, and we were leaving for China so I gave him the go-ahead to do the band and string sessions without me.

We got the initial rough mixes from the band literally as we were leaving for China. Nathan was trying to download them on my phone in the airport for me so I could listen on the long flight. I knew if I wasn’t able to get them listened to and give feedback the minute we got to China, there was no way it was happening because once we got the kids it would be non-stop for the foreseeable future. I listened and took notes most of the way to China, and fortunately we had a decent internet connection in Hong Kong to send feedback. Paul as usual exceeded my expectations, and I was really happy overall with the direction this went.

We had initially planned that I would head down to Nashville again at the end of September to do the vocals, but that didn’t end up happening. I got sick and also, it was just too early to leave the new kiddos. They were doing really well, but when you’ve lost everything and you’re in a new country and literally your whole world has changed, having your new parent leave even for a few days can be really frightening. We decided to wait until October to give them a few more weeks, and have the string sessions done first.

While we waited, I put together all the text for the CD insert and proofed it 800 times and sent it to Royce, the graphic designer and photographer working on the project. That way he could do an initial layout just to get ideas for spacing, etc. I also researched and picked a new manufacturer because the one I’ve used for years closed shop and Royce needed their specific templates. And I worked on getting the mechanical and digital licenses for the couple of songs that needed them. AND, I did something I truly hate – I shopped for clothing for the photo shoot. I’m a jeans and t-shirt gal and I hate, hate (did I mention I hate it?!) to shop for clothing. It is way too much pressure to figure out how to look cute etc, etc. I brought my mom just to make me get it done.

I got the string session rough mixes just before I went to Nashville, and holy cannoli, this is why you work in Nashville. Phillip Keveren who is an amazing arranger, orchestrator, and pianist did the string arrangements, and they are incredible. Again. He did the arrangements on my last two albums as well. The man is a genius. And also incredibly nice – that’s a rare combo. And the string players are all from the Nashville symphony and knocked it out of the park. The cello solo at the beginning of “In Christ Alone?” Mic drop. I don’t even need to sing the song now. Close your eyes and you’re in Ireland.

I drove into Nashville, about six hours from my house, and went immediately to the photographer’s studio. My publicist, Gina Adams, who is not just a great publicist, but also a friend after all these years met me there and we proceeded with another of my least favorite parts of these things – the photo shoot. This business is not kind to women, and I can be really hard on myself. Nothing fun about it, but she kept making me laugh which helped and the photographer, Royce was super nice and easy to work with. And he got some great shots which I am very relieved to have done. He got me proofs and some ideas for the cover layouts over the next couple of weeks.

The next three days I spent with Paul and also with Jeremy Johnson. Jeremy is Paul’s writing partner and they produce tons of things for Lifeway and are great friends. Paul is a good friend, and I’ve known Jeremy for years and we’ve written a bit together too. He engineered the vocal sessions at his studio and did a bunch of the programming and the keys and mixing and all kinds of fun stuff. It was so fun to see him again and catch up with his family and see how his kids are growing. It’s a really lovely thing when you can work with people who are just amazing at what they do, and are also stellar people. Doing vocals can be kind of mentally grueling since you have to be on your game for literally every second of the sessions, but it is also really fun. I love communicating through sound, always have, and it’s super fun to collaborate with these guys.

A couple weeks after that trip, I got the initial mixes and was giving feedback and changes. Jeremy did an outstanding job with the mix. Then, after going back and forth and listening in several difference places (things sound different in your car than they do in your stereo, than they do in your headphones, etc.), I gave final approval and it headed over to Kent Hooper for mastering. Then another round of listening and feedback and changes and final approvals. All this time as well, we were doing the same thing with the graphic design for the artwork on the CD and case. At the beginning of November it all went to manufacturing, and we got them just before Thanksgiving.

But wait, there’s more! Even though we have the album, the official release won’t be until February of 2018 because you need lead time for the PR campaign and we also realized we needed videos to support the release.

So, I headed down to Nashville for one last long weekend. I flew Jeff Kubach in from Philadelphia. He’s been my director on several music videos and is outstanding. Gina, my publicist, about killed herself getting together shoot locations that seemed to change their available times every time we turned around, so the shoot schedule changed almost daily at the end. It was very nerve wracking.

So, to be clear, in the past we’ve taken anywhere from 3-5 days to shoot a single music video. They are like mini-movies. There was no way that could really happen this time. First of all, there simply wasn’t time, either before the release or in my life – even getting away this extra weekend was killer. And secondly, to be blunt, there’s no money for that approach this time. Our adoptions have drained all our resources and we’re stepping out on a limb with this album as is. So we did something I would have said was impossible – we scaled back and simplified tremendously and shot everything we needed for four music videos and an interview in a single long weekend. They won’t have the story lines of our other videos, but they will work, and we needed to be practical this time.

It was like trying to coordinate a major military campaign. We used film students from Trevecca University to help carry stuff and set up lights and have multiple cameras running for each take which shortened our time considerably. We planned all the outside shots on Saturday only to find out there were thunderstorms all day and we even had a tornado at one point. I only ended up shooting one scene in the rain, and that was hilarious watching everyone running with umbrellas trying to protect the cameras and lights and get the shot before I looked too wet and we had to give up. We lost our guitarist and had to find another on the fly. I had to literally write notes to myself about which clothes and jewelry I was wearing in each video so I wouldn’t mess it up since we switched back and forth between videos every time we switched locations. I did my hair 13 times. That’s only interesting if you know me, I guess, but let’s just say I’m not a hair-doing girl either. It was nuts. But somehow, by the grace of God, we got it done. Now, I’m still in the middle of watching the initial editing for those as they are put together.

So, even though this album isn’t officially released until next year, if you’re reading this, you are connected with us and we are selling the album in our store already – it’s not available anywhere else until that release date. So I hope you will pick up your copy and one for your best friends, and help support our ministry! And hopefully it’s interesting to know what goes into putting an album together too. 🙂

Finally, we named the album “Nothing to Fear” from the lyric, “For You are for me and there is nothing to fear.”

Songs are:

1. Nothing to Fear
2. A Greater Love
3. How Far Love Goes
4. Forever Family
5. Porch Swing
6. Patient with Me (Hello Again)
7. It Is Well with My Soul
8. Living Abundantly
9. Love in Action
10. In Christ Alone

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First months home

Tuesday, December 5th, 2017

Ethan’s first time on a train with his already beloved Dad on the way to Hong Kong

First time on Winnie the Pooh – their eyes were huge! Loved sitting behind them.

Ethan thought Iron Man was the best thing ever!! Really fun ride.


Who cares if it’s 105 degrees when your Dad is giving you a ride?

Headed to the international clinic for their 5 hour appointment and thinking they are looking pretty hip in their sunglasses.

First s’mores – they were skeptical and then they were in love.

First days at school. Math is comforting because the numbers don’t change.

Some of their amazing early Lego creations.


First time in a tree – they thought it was amazing and just a little scary.

Anna brought this home and made my week – we have come so far from those tough, tough days in China.

Tons of fun with Rinnah at college!

Rinnah the birthday girl with all her sibs.

Our Moon Festival cookies.

Ethan learned to ride the bike by himself in 8 minutes!!

Noah the birthday boy.

First trick-or-treating.

Working hard with our Chinese tutor, Angie, on our Chinese school homework.

Anna the birthday girl with my mom.

Ethan the birthday boy with Nathan and being photobombed by his brother, Toby.

Our new family picture.

Family dumpling party on Thanksgiving morning.

Our cross-cultural Thanksgiving dinner – turkey, steamed sweet potatoes, steamed buns, apple bread, pork dumplings, bean sprouts, corn, stuffing, mashed potatoes, butternut squash, cranberry sauce, and the requisite green bean casserole smack in the middle.

Enjoying siblings.

Christmas decorating for the first time.

Caught a family shot, a very rare opportunity!

It’s safe to say that I don’t remember a time in the last decade that I have been this overwhelmed with all that is happening. So much of it good, quite a lot of it hard, and we are getting to place where I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sad I wasn’t able to keep up with my blog as I wished I had a better record of these first few months, but there simply hasn’t been time. Putting some thoughts, some FB posts, and a lot of pictures here just to record what has happened.

My last post we were heading to Hong Kong on our last stop before bringing our new children home. We added this extra day just to show them Disney at Noah’s request – he had loved going there on his way home and wanted to share it. We took the speed train there, and then two subways which we somehow managed to change without losing any baggage or children – we each had a death grip on someone, and I swear my heart rate didn’t return to normal until we were off the subway an hour. We were exhausted and then waited another hour for a bus that refused to allow us to board with our luggage and a driver who was incredibly mean about it – not our favorite memory of Hong Kong. We finally split up to take two taxis which was also nerve wracking but we all made it and checked into our last hotel.

We spent the next day at Disney and it was a fun day. The kids have never seen anything like it, and you would expect them to be so excited, but they were more nervous. However, after the first couple of rides, they were starting to warm up, and after the Iron Man ride for Ethan (he got off yelling, “again, again, again!”) and It’s a Small World for Anna (who literally danced in line the entire time we waited she was so excited) the tide turned, and we really had fun the rest of the day. We went back to the hotel and packed up for the long plane ride home.

We got to Newark fine, and the kids did remarkably well for their first plane ride ever, especially considering it was 16 hours long! We had seats together in the center all the way in the back of the place, but at least we were together which was a massive improvement over our flight in. I was in a row with Ethan and Noah, and Nathan sat behind me with Toby and Anna, and Rinnah and Rachel were in the third row with one poor lady who got stuck in the middle of our family. Everyone slept a little, ate a little (why is airplane food so bad?! Why? Why?!) and we made it. Immigration was different here than when we were in Dallas with Noah – they separated me and the new kids and sent us to a “special office” with no info on where we were going or how long it would take which made everyone nervous. But we were the only ones in there and it took less than 15 minutes to process Ethan and Anna as the newest citizens of the US. We joined the rest of the family who had been waiting out in the terminal and headed for our flight home. Sadly, we were delayed several times, but we did eventually get out. Some of the people who had planned to meet us weren’t able to because it was so late, but a few stalwart friends stuck it out for us and it was so good to see them and be home!

This was a really hard trip. When we went to get Noah, it was hard, and he was scared and grieving and we were scared and trying to figure out how to help him, etc, but he’d also been well prepared, and we had no issues with the adoption or anything. We really had a very smooth trip, and a lot of time to sight-see and enjoy things and he was in a place to be able to do that and it felt really bonding overall for our family. This trip felt like the whole adoption process had before it – more of a fight. It was so hot, the things with Anna were so emotionally difficult, we had problems with multiple parts of the process that were very frightening and exhausting, and it was just incredibly stressful. I am so grateful it’s over. Honestly, I feel a little like I have PTSD from the process, and I’m not sure why it has to be so hard. I mean, some parts of it are just going to be hard, there’s no getting around it, but it seems like we had so many hard things that don’t need to be that way. And it makes me sad for the kiddos who are not going to adopted because they’ve made the process so difficult. I don’t really want to talk to any government entities for a while. There’s a whole year still at least of paperwork before we’re truly done with everything, but at least the big stuff is over, they are here, and they are ours.

The week after we got home we had to hit the ground running. Toby started middle school literally a day and a half after getting home. Noah and Rachel started two days later. Rinnah left to start college a week after that (talk about a one-two punch for mom emotionally). And Ethan and Anna had their big appointments at the international clinic and the dentist and Anna had a huge intake for the cleft team at the hospital, all while we were dealing with pretty crushing jet lag. I felt sick for about two weeks! But somehow we got through it all. I’ve been struggling with being mad at our agency – if we hadn’t had all the setbacks with wrong info, etc, we would have been home many weeks earlier and not had this crazy transition.

We also realized that we were going to have to send Ethan and Anna to school pretty quickly if we wanted to be able to go with them and help them – Nathan had to go back to work, and there was no way for me to be two places at once. Nathan actually put off going back to work an extra week because we couldn’t figure out any other way to transition them. He ended up going with Ethan and I went with Anna for a week and a half, and then I did a half day with each of them for another week and a half or so. American school is just light years different from Chinese school, not to mention that neither of them spoke English, so that was really important. The first day I only took Anna for half a day, and when we left, she cried. I thought it was the stress, but it turned out, she was having fun and didn’t want to leave! Even though that was much earlier than I thought we’d send them and there were definitely ups and downs, they both really love school and I’m so glad we were able to get it done the way we wanted to. And shout out to our school – they have again just bent over backwards to help us do whatever we needed to to help the kids feel safe and comfortable, and that is definitely not always the response of schools.

Quotes from FB from Anna’s start to school:

Spent the day with first graders helping Anna adjust. Here are some of my favorite 6 year old questions:

(When we were 2 minutes late) “Did you come here straight from China?”

“So, if you’re her mom, why didn’t you just teach her to speak English?”

“Are your other kids from England?” (uh, come again?)

And my favorite, asked by 4, count ’em, 4 different kids at different times all while looking straight at me:

“So, are you Chinese?”

We also had to start the kids almost immediately in Chinese school just because of how the semesters run. We were afraid if we waited, Anna especially would just lose too much. It’s very important to us that the kids maintain their language. It’s such a gift to be bi-lingual, and also such an important part of their history, culture, and identity. And when we take them back to China someday, we’d really like them to be able to talk to the foster parents if we are able to visit them!

So, by one month home, we had a pretty good handle on the new kids’ medical situations, they were transitioned into school and doing pretty well, and they both knew all the Chinese words we knew and had picked up enough English that we were limping along pretty well as far as communication goes. It has been an incredible blessing to have Noah able to translate when things were hard – he doesn’t like to do it as it’s stressful for him, so we try not to ask much, but he’s a real trooper about it and I’ve been so proud of him and his desire to be a good big brother, something he was intimidated by.

We’ve also come a long way with our relationships. Anna’s and mine started off really rocky, but she is very attached to me now. As she’s gotten more language, she’s also expressing a lot of sadness about China and missing her foster family there (it is not like foster care in the US, they would not have been allowed to adopt her) and I am so glad we are still in contact with her family. They love her very much and are always happy to hear how she is doing, and it’s very comforting for her to know that we know how to find them and that they are happy she has a permanent family with us. We try to be open to talk about anything, and I really stress that it is fine for her to love both of us and that we also really appreciate and care about her foster family.

Ethan has been slower to warm up to me – he loves, loves, loves Nathan! So, while it’s not that he doesn’t like me, I think he just wanted all Nathan at first. He was so excited to have a dad! But I am so happy that he really has been opening up, and we’re doing well now. He’s much more guarded in his feelings, and keeps things to himself, so it’s a privilege when he shares himself with you. He’s started being more open to affection and expressing himself more, and I’m just really looking forward to getting to know him. We love them both so much already.

In October we went to Taylor to visit Rinnah for her birthday. It was so good to see her! I’ve really been struggling with her leaving for school – I love her dearly and have missed her so much. She’s been really homesick too, especially with the new kiddos here, and it’s been hard to hear her sad. But that is also turning around as she makes friends, and I do think her school is a perfect fit for her. We also celebrated Moon Festival with her while we were there, and brought moon cakes and made moon cookies, etc. The kids all brought their scooters and we trekked all over campus – it was so fun!

We also had Toby’s birthday and Noah’s birthday and Ethan taught himself to ride a bike in eight minutes (no joke!). I also headed to Nashville for my first time away to record the vocals for my new album – I’ll write about that in a separate post. We also tried to explain Halloween and had our first trick or treat.

A hilarious conversation with Anna who was trying to wrap her mind around this bizarre American holiday:

Anna: So, Anna princess.
Me: Yes, you wear your princess dress.
Anna: My go house, say “Tree, oh tree!”
Me: (giggling because it’s like arbor day) Yep, say “Trick or treat!”
Anna: Okay, my say “tree, oh tree!” Then they candy. In my… um… pillow? (this is clearly getting weirder and weirder)
Me: We will bring a pillowcase for the candy. Yes, they put candy in the pillowcase.
Anna: And my say “thank you.”
Me: Yep. You got it!
Anna: Okaaay, mama. (In a very, if-you-say-so, where-the-heck-have-I-ended-up, Americans-are-very-strange way.)

Finally, in November I headed back to Nashville to shoot music videos for the new album, we had Anna’s birthday and Ethan’s birthday just days apart, and we celebrated a very Chinese and American Thanksgiving. The kids both struggled a lot with anxiety just before their birthdays, just like Noah did last year. Because they’ve never had a birthday celebration, it’s like they have this intense worry that what if it isn’t the way they dreamed it would be? Or what if we forget them or don’t celebrate them the way we do every other family member? It’s was pretty intense leading up to the days, but getting through it helped so much. We had some massive behind-the-scenes drama getting Ethan’s presents that he never knew about (long God story, but He sure showed up and so did my family!) and it was just amazing to watch Ethan realize that yes, he was going to have a birthday celebration just like everyone else. These are the things that build trust and bond the family and make the kids realize that they do belong here and they are loved.

So, this has been one of the most challenging seasons I’ve been through for so many reasons. One, emotionally it’s just been tough. The kids are grieving and anxious and don’t know how things will be or work, so that is all hands on deck all the time. The time pressure has also been intense. There’s so much more work just with the fact of six kids, and also with the new album. Getting them into school and praying and hoping that they will be comfortable and accepted there, and just the work that needed to happen to get them settled. Sitting with the kids every night for an hour until they fall asleep because they are still so scared at night and in the dark. Making sure we have food they will eat so we have one less stress for them. The adjustment by our whole family to two new people, personalities, problems with communication, all of it. It’s been hard, and I feel like we’ve climbed a mountain.

But with that said, I feel like the worst of it is behind us. We have adjusted. They are getting more English every day. They are genuinely happy at school and have made good friends. They have learned to like many foods here. They are connecting and attaching to our family and we love them.

Now we are looking forward to Anna’s foster sister, Quinn, being adopted by our friends the Moses’ in January. We can’t wait to meet her and reunite the girls! We are looking forward to Ethan and Anna’s first Christmas and sharing the truth of Jesus with them. We are looking forward to having Rinnah home for several weeks of school break. And we are just looking forward to more normalcy and having some time just to be a family and solidify those bonds!

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