Pit number one of the Terracotta Warriors, the first found and the largest, about the size of two football fields

Some of the warriors up close

How they look when they are first uncovered – they’ve only reconstructed about 1000 of the estimated 8000

A section they are working on now

Our family at the Shaanxi History Museum

Our kids having fun with the statues in the park

Our family at the Wild Goose Pagoda

The entrance to the Wild Good Pagoda – look at the size of the burner next to the women!

The incense burning outside one of the idol’s halls.

Beautiful view from the Pagoda

Just one example of the amazing artwork on all the lintels – this is found on every roofline and ceiling of historical buildings – stunning

A street scene, but check out the overhead lines!!!

We continue to have insane smog – this is on the freeway with my camera automatically compensating – we all have sore throats all the time

Well, I’m sitting here in a hotel in Guangzhou, and things continue to be up and down but I have to say that I really admire my new son. While most of the time things have been great, we had that difficult time in the Forbidden City, and then Noah was expressing more and more sadness about his foster family. When we got to Xi’an, he immediately asked our new translator, Sherry, if she could call his foster parents, and also talked to her a lot about home, saying things like “at home, it’s lunch time now,” or “at home, my parents would make this for dinner” etc. He was acting out some and several times seemed borderline angry or defiant.

When we got to Xi’an, Sherry took us immediately from the train station to see the City Wall, which we didn’t know was on the schedule until we got there, and we really wished she hadn’t. Everyone was tired from our all day train trip, and Noah was just exhausted. On the wall, he just decided he wasn’t listening to us anymore. He tried to run away, not really to leave us, but just to be where we couldn’t control him. I suppose the only upside of his heart condition is that he can’t go very far. We had kind of a show down on the wall, and I had to go get him and definitely be the parent. We’ve been trying just to love on him as much as possible while we’re in this transition time, so that wasn’t where I wanted to be at all, but for his safety, he can’t be running away from us.

We finally got to the hotel and got dinner, and he really seemed to rally. After a good night’s sleep, he was like a different boy. With all of our experience with sensory issues, I’m just realizing again how important it is that we keep him as physically comfortable as possible. We can’t do much about his grief except to show him as often as we can that we care, but it’s much easier to deal with grief when you’re not also hungry or cold or exhausted.

The next day we went to see the Terracotta Warriors which was the main reason we came to Xi’an. It’s absolutely amazing. Noah told Sherry that he wasn’t interested in history, but he seemed to find this pretty interesting, and it had no significant stairs which we’re learning makes him very happy.

The short story is that Emperor Qin was the first emperor to unify China and the warriors are from about 200 BC. Many rulers were buried with terracotta warriors which were meant to be their army in the afterlife, but these are significant because there are so many (8000) and the only ones to be life-sized. The army is his actual army, and every single one is different and modeled after a real person. It’s astounding. It took 700,000 slaves 40 years to build, and when the emperor died, they were all killed so no one could give away the location. Emperor Qin was apparently very cruel and four years after he died, one of his generals (who apparently knew the location) broke into the underground tomb and had his army smash and destroy all the warriors because he didn’t want the same emperor to rule in the afterlife. They were discovered in the 1970’s when a local farmer was digging a well in his field and dug up a hat. So now, as they uncover them, they are trying to piece them all back together – it’s like the most insane puzzle ever.

We had a good morning together, and even better, a free afternoon. We played Uno and watched a Chinese game show, and read books and generally chilled out. One fun thing, we have no idea where he heard it, but Noah’s starting singing “We are family!” by Sister Sledge all the time – hilarious! And he always does it pointing to us. 🙂 We had some great “Chinese hamburgers” which are nothing like American hamburgers from a street vendor Sherry suggested and then had an early night.

The next day Sherry took us to the Shaanxi History Museum and then the Wild Goose Pagoda which is the Buddhist Temple built about 1500 years ago by the first Buddhist monk to popularize Buddhism in China. We had a good time together, and Noah was having fun with us. The Buddhist temple was beautiful but hard to see – I had wanted the kids to see this because I know the first time I went to one it gave me a new perspective and also such compassion for the people there. I want everyone to know the truth of Jesus, and seeing people bowing and praying to statues who can’t hear or answer them fills my heart with such a desire to share the Truth that has changed my life. It was eye-opening for our children.

We went to lunch at a local place with Sherry which was great and then had another lazy afternoon. We went back to the same “hamburger stand” which totally tickled the lady running it. We are still very notable here, the only Caucasians we’ve seen except for a few other tourists at the Terracotta Warriors, and we could tell she felt flattered that we had come back even if we got the boring basic sandwiches because we had no idea what any of the condiments were and since this place is known for super spicy food, we didn’t want to melt our faces off.

Noah showed me a picture of his foster parents that night and told me, “Father, mother.” He was trying not to cry, and I gave him a hug hoping it would be okay with him. He didn’t participate, but he seemed glad I hugged him anyway, so we just stood there for a few minutes and he let me hold him and then he put the photo album away and asked to play Uno.

The next day we flew to Guangzhou. Noah has never been on a plane, and he was very nervous. He thought it would be like a roller coaster. We told him it was like the train and he looked like he thought we were crazy. We told him, no really, it’s like the train except your ears might hurt a little, and he looked like he was being too polite to tell us that he thought we were nuts.

When we got to the airport, he was clearly nervous waiting at the gate, and he didn’t even want to look at the plane, but he marched right on. He’s got some serious chutzpah, this kid. He seemed much more comfortable when he saw it looked like the train. After the take off, he was totally fine – realized it was a lot like the train and just relaxed. We could also tell this wasn’t a US flight because it was about two and half hours long and they fed us a chicken and rice entree, a snack bag of seaweed crackers, a pickled radish chicken salad, a bun, and a giant piece of cake, along with two other things we were never able to identify. Glad we didn’t pick up lunch before the flight!

This morning we had his medical clearance. He had to take more pictures for his medical and his visa, get a general screen to make sure he has no infectious diseases, see an ENT, have a vision screen (looks like more glasses in our future), get a height and weight, and then do a blood draw for his TB test. He was a trooper and didn’t bat an eye about the whole thing. I told him he was brave about the blood draw and he said he’d had to do that many times and never cried. I was just thinking how much more he’s going to have to go through when he gets to the States, and it makes me sad for him, but also happy they can help. We saw several other adoptive families there, and there are also several staying at our hotel this time because everyone has to finalize in Guangzhou, but he is by far the oldest kid we’ve seen being adopted.

We had a great afternoon playing together. He was laughing so hard several times that he couldn’t breathe. He tackles us all, gives us all kisses now, is perfectly content to be hugged or touched, and talked about school at home and the dogs. It was a great afternoon. And then tonight at dinner he just started to cry. It was like the more he tried to stop, the more he cried. And our translation software doesn’t work very well outside of the hotel because we need wifi, and he couldn’t tell us, and couldn’t tell us, and Nathan said one more time, “Can you try?” and he just looked at us and burst out, “I miss Chinese mother! I miss Chinese mother!” and just sobbed. It absolutely broke my heart.

He let us both hug him and comfort him. It’s an interesting thing because I would think he would want to reject us, but he doesn’t – he seems to genuinely like us and I know he loves the kids and all the fun. He doesn’t blame us or think we’re “taking him away.” He’s been well prepared and knows this is how it is. But he is really homesick and he loves his foster parents. Again, I really admire him because he seems to just be able to acknowledge his feelings and be very open to us at the same time. He’s such a brave kid. I already love him, and I am so extremely sorry that he has to go through what he has to go through. I know in my head that it’s so much better for him and his attachment to us in the long run that he was loved well and so attached to his foster family, but it makes the now hard.

He’s snuggled up against Nathan right now playing a game on Nathan’s phone, and he’s smiling and laughing. He’s such a special kid. Please keep praying for him, for God to comfort his heart and continue making him brave, and for us as we finish all this up and bring him home. I say it often, but it’s so true – we are so grateful for your prayers and can feel them every moment.

Soldiers at Tiananmen Square

Inside the Forbidden City

While Noah was crying, our other kids started praying for him right in the Forbidden City – incredibly sweet for me to see

One of the homes in the Hutong – this one is about 600 years old and still being used

Rinnah, Noah, and Toby in the rickshaw

The amazing moto act – you can still see the other 3 motos driving inside!

Our family at the Temple of Heaven

One of my favorites – the boys walking into the Summer Palace

In the Summer Palace

Waterside at the Summer Palace

Monkey! When Noah told Baba he loved him

Kids on the cable car up to the Great Wall

One view of the Great Wall

Kids doing O-H-I-O on the Great Wall

Today marks one week that we’ve had Noah with us. Now we are just waiting for Noah’s passport so we can move on to the next step. Since we have this time, we decided to take the train back to Beijing and see some of the famous sites there and then later we will also go to Xian and do the same thing before heading down to Guangzhou and completing all the paperwork Noah needs to come to the States.

We continue to be amazed at how well it’s going. It hasn’t been perfect and we did have some tough moments in Beijing, but it’s just been so much better than we thought it might be and we have been thanking God and know that it’s all the prayers!

After a long travel day getting here and getting lost in the Beijing train station and realizing that Beijing traffic would add an hour minimum to every trip we took, we checked into our hotel. These rooms are about half the size of the ones we had in Jinan (just like hotel rooms in NYC!), but it’s a real relief to be somewhere for four nights in a row.

Our first day we saw Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City first. I was fascinated to see these, but there is a lot of walking. We brought Noah a stroller not knowing if he would be willing to use it, and the answer is, no he is not. He told our translator here, Alison, that everyone would think he was a baby, and really, I can’t blame him. If I was nine, I wouldn’t want to be in a stroller either. Add to that that the floor is 600 years old and that you have to climb up and down staircases to get through each hall and courtyard and I don’t know if our stroller would have helped anyway.

Nathan has been giving him piggy back rides and if he wants one he now says, “Monkey!” as in, I’m a monkey, let me climb on your back. Nathan carried him a lot, but really, this is a huge place and not particularly interesting for a nine year old. We also had dressed him warmly for an American, but this is about half the clothing he was used to which was totally our mistake. He was cold and tired and hungry and right in the middle of the Forbidden City, he was just suddenly overwhelmed. He was crying and mad and didn’t want to move and so we just stood there with him for close to an hour while Alison talked to him and we had no idea what either of them were saying and we just tried to rub his back and comfort him.

In retrospect and after talking to Alison, I don’t think he even really knew why he was so upset. I think it was all just suddenly too much and sometimes you just need to cry. Everything in his whole life has changed instantly and completely, and he didn’t want to be there and he didn’t want
to be so tired and cold and be with these people who are perfectly nice, but not his people yet, people he can’t even talk to.

Alison finally talked him into continuing and we moved a lot faster (which, let’s face it, means I tried to stop taking pictures every two seconds) and we had a snack and made it through.

Our next stop was a short Hutong tour (Hutong are the traditional Chinese neighborhoods right in the middle of the big modern cities – the one we were in was about 600 years old) and Alison has us do it on rickshaws. This was perfect because Noah thought that was super fun and rallied and enjoyed himself. We all did – this was a beautiful part of our time and one of my favorite things we saw.

When we were done, we asked Alison if we might be able to see some Chinese acrobats and if Noah would like that – she asked him and he was so excited! He told her he’d always wanted to do that, so we went to a short show that afternoon. We would describe it like the minor leagues to Cirque Du Soleil – they must get a lot of performers from places like that. Everyone’s favorite act was the moto driver in the steel ball. We thought he was amazing and then they added another. Then another, and another until there were 6 guys on motos in there! Terrifying and super impressive.

The next day we went to see the Temple of Heaven and the Summer Palace. Temple of Heaven had a wonderful park outside where people were doing Tai Chi and playing cards and dancing and we watched a man playing an erhu for quite some time who played so beautifully – it was like a little festival all the time. The Summer Palace was also beautiful, and we’d put twice as many clothes on Noah today and it was amazing how much it helped – he seemed to have a great time the whole time.

That night he was riding on Nathan’s back home from dinner and he said, kind of in a singing voice, “Father! I love you!” It was so out of the blue, Nathan looked startled and he said to him, “Wo ai ni?” saying “I love you” in Mandarin to see if that was what he meant, and he just said, “Yea!!” like, of course, didn’t you hear me? Then he said it to me too. We both had tears in our eyes, it was so unexpected! And of course, we don’t know if he’s just trying out phrases he knows or wants to hear it (and of course we told him we loved him too!) or what, but it was a beautiful moment.

Today we went to the Great Wall and were able to go to a location that has a cable car so we could ride up. Even with that there was a lot of climbing and Nathan carried Noah a lot. It’s funny – he has all the energy of a nine year old boy, and he really wants to run and climb and he’s always moving, but his body just shuts down. He has two minutes of fast walking, 45 seconds of running, or about 6 steps in him and then he has to stop. If we can fix his heart, though, I don’t think we’ll ever catch him again. He kept watching Toby running and saying “Oh, my gosh!” and I know he wanted to be doing it with him.

We didn’t stay very long because Noah was discouraged by all the walking and stairs, but we were all very happy to have done it. It really is an amazing thing to see!

We’re all very surprised and amazed at how much English Noah is already picking up. He is one smart cookie. I can tell he’s starting to think ahead now too – he’s thinking about his new home and tonight he said, “I have two dogs” to me in English. He was asking about our dogs at home and thinking that through. He’s also figured out the passwords to everyone’s devices but one. 🙂 And tonight we saw a bookstore and I thought we’d just check and see if there was anything he might like to read and he was so excited about all the books! He found a Kung Fu Panda book and a superhero series and started kissing them which we took as a subtle sign that he might enjoy those. Got them for him and he read the first one non-stop for an hour and finished the whole thing before we told him it was time for bed. I ran back out tonight and got a few more in the series to keep in my bag for long flights, etc. Looks like we’ve got another reader on our hands!

Today we had a very long train ride to Xian. Averaged between 250-300 kph on the bullet train. Again, I am so struck by the smog – even when we’re in the middle of the countryside, it’s so thick you can only clearly see things within about 100 yards, and it’s as if the world disappears 4 or 5 city blocks out. Noah literally read out loud to himself in Chinese for at least four hours – just like Toby (minus the out loud part)! We’re enjoying seeing everything, and we’re soaking it in, but I’m also thinking, “Xian is the last city before we can go to Guangzhou and start checking off more legal stuff!” I am anxious to get Noah home and to the doctors and start trying to get this little guy some answers.

Updated prayer request: It took forever to get a good enough connection to post this. Since then, Noah is really missing his foster family. He’s been looking at his pictures a lot and he asked our translator last night to call his foster parents. This morning at breakfast he said, “I like noodles, I like dumplings. I like Qingdao (his home town).” Please pray for him and his comfort – we are new and exciting right now, and as that wears off and he realizes this is permanent, I know he will be grieving. Thank you!

Look at the amazing Legos they’ve built!

We taught him Uno and now he is obsessed!

The famous red hand stamp makes it official – he’s now our son!

Getting gifts at the going away party at his orphanage

The pagoda and pier in the harbor at Qingdao, Noah’s home city

We’ve already learned that Noah loves Kung Fu Panda, so you know this was super exciting when we saw it on the way to dinner!

Some of the people who stopped and asked for a picture with the American family

Beauty meets smog – those buildings in the background are not that far away

We’re seeing hilarious English on T-shirts – this is a good example, but we wish we’d caught our favorite on camera – the girl walking down the street with the shirt saying ACNE in huge letters.

A shot down the side street of a Hutong neighborhood

Daming Lake in Jinan – beautiful in spite of the smog

One of many bridal couples we saw out getting pictures

Well, it’s been several days, and all I have to say is the honeymoon continues. It’s really funny – all of the kids have come to me and said something along the lines of “I can’t believe we’ve only had Noah with us for two days! I can’t remember what it was like before!” And really, I’m not quite there in that I do remember, but I have to say, he is fitting in better and happier than I ever thought he could be.

I could tell he didn’t sleep much that first night (and I could tell because I didn’t sleep much
either!) but he woke up happy and we had a lazy first morning getting breakfast and packing up because we knew it would be a very long afternoon. Our adoption had already been pushed back a day and then we were supposed to go this morning, but we got word that another worker needed in the process had to push us back to the afternoon.

Adoption day was crazy. And kind of a nightmare. But we got it all done, and that’s what counts. We left right on time, and drove about an hour to get signatures notarized, then drove an hour back to register the adoption where we found another worker had gone into a meeting with her supervisor and was unavailable. We waited about 2 hours for her and finally registered the adoption, but that put us into rush hour, and that meant we weren’t able to drive the hour needed to get to the passport office and file before they closed. John told us we would have to stay another night in Jinan and do it in the morning, but I was getting really concerned – it takes 11 days to get a passport, and if we can’t get it, everything, our US consulate appointment, Noah’s visa, everything would be pushed back and that meant changing our returns, which costs tons of money and affects the kids’ school, Nathan’s work, everything. John said they would try to do it on time, but still. We started praying right there in the van and John’s phone rang – one of the men at the passport office talked 3 colleagues into staying an extra hour and a half just to process Noah’s passport because he likes John. Seriously! So kind!

So we rushed across town (as much as you can rush in rush hour) and had to run up the steps to the passport building. Nathan caught up with Noah after the first eight or nine steps and carried him, but I was still alarmed to see that with that, his whole face went pale and blue and he started weaving – I was sure he was going to pass out. He wasn’t even phased – I think this happens to him all the time and he’s very used to the feeling – but it sure scared me. We are learning lots of things about him these couple of days and some of the most obvious ones are that he’s not going to let much stop him, and also that he doesn’t have much choice because he really is very sick.

After registering the passport, we still had to drive another hour to the train station (this city is enormous, and crazy populated and we just seem to keep crossing the whole thing). We thought we were going to have a wait for the train, but John got us on an earlier one to try to get us in in time to sleep so we ended up running with all our bags through the station trying to make the train. And of course, now we know Noah cannot run. Absolutely cannot. He can do a fast walk for about 2 minutes and then he is just done. So we’re trying to get everyone there, down multiple flights of steps with all our luggage, Nathan’s running back and forth grabbing bags, trying to keep the kids with us all while I’m trying to get Noah to the train and we finally leap on, have everyone and all our stuff and heave a huge sigh of relief – can’t even believe we made it! So stressful. And then the train is delayed. For about 30 minutes. And we could have walked and gotten a snack and used the potties. But anyway, we’re on the train. We got in so late and checked in and John left and we got up to the room and realized there’s this kind of horrible chemical smell, but we know no one can talk to us and it’s so late and so in the end we decide to just hope we won’t die, put the kids in the better room and go to sleep. It was that kind of day.

This morning we went to see Noah’s orphanage. Noah lived there until his first surgery and was at the hospital and at the orphanage off and on until he was 3 and has been living with his foster family ever since. He goes back to the orphanage often for health checks and paperwork and things, and it was incredibly touching to see how much they cared about him and how comfortable he was with everyone there.

We thought they were just going to give us a tour, but when we got there, they had organized a going away party for him! They had a cake and a huge sign for him and many of the workers came including his baby nanny and the foster care coordinator and the director of the orphanage. There were also a few of the other children there, and I actually recognized one of the older boys from our agency’s wait list – it made me so sad because he looked so very hopeless and resigned, and I know that it’s very rare for an older boy to be adopted, especially with health needs. I’ve been praying for him and the other waiting kids from our agency, and will be thrilled if I see him matched. They thanked us again and again and told us how happy they were for Noah, and what a wonderful chance it was for him to have a stable family.

They also gave us essentially gold – someone there had taken an incredible amount of time putting together not one but 3 photo albums of Noah’s whole life with captions and everything. It was amazing! I cried – I had been hoping for a few pictures, maybe one from each year as I had heard some people got and trying not to have my hopes too high, and this was more than I’d ever hoped for! And it showed such love. I know that his life was not easy, but he was loved here.

Frankly, it was the nicest orphanage I’ve ever seen and the people there seemed to genuinely to care for and love the kids. And for that, I am so thankful, and so grateful to them for what they’ve done for my son and for the other kids in their care. But even then, it is still an orphanage. They had shown us the room Noah lived in until he was two, and it was a small, clean, bright room with 20 cribs. There were babies lying there and when they cried someone came (which doesn’t happen at all in many orphanages) but it might take a while and the babies were going to spend most of their time alone in their crib. It’s just the way it is. Babies do not belong in orphanages. Children do not belong there. I know in my heart that every one of the workers in that orphanage would agree with me – they couldn’t have responded to our coming the way they did if they didn’t.

After that we left and went to see Noah’s “finding spot” – the place where they found him as a baby. His police report was very specific, so I was able to stand there, and to take pictures if he wants them someday. Standing there was surreal – I was thinking how cold it would have been that time of year, and how desperate you must be to walk away from your baby. I can’t say more about that – it’s too hard.

We spent the rest of the afternoon looking around the city, but Noah was getting a little sad. He recognized many of the places as places he’d been with his foster parents. So we went back to the hotel and got dinner and just decided to watch a movie and cuddle together.

Two funny things. One, we went out to dinner and as soon as we had walked a couple of blocks we realized it was too cold and windy to go very far and Noah was really dragging after the long day so we just picked a restaurant at random that was close. We spent at least 20 minutes with the kindest, most patient waiter who was attempting to use translation software on his phone that wasn’t working at all trying to figure out our order. We finally thought we had it, but he still had some question that I clearly wasn’t getting, and wasn’t getting, when Noah made some comment under his breath. The waiter looked at him in disbelief when he realized he spoke Mandarin after all this trouble and they had this exchange which we didn’t understand at all, but given the body language we’re pretty sure it went like this,

Waiter: Are you kidding me?! You speak Chinese?!
Noah: Yep!
Waiter: This whole time I’ve been struggling to talk to them. Is this your family?
Noah: Yep!
Waiter: Then what is going on?! Why aren’t you helping me?!
Noah: I can’t talk to them either!
Waiter: (sighed and muttered in English) Whatever.

We all died laughing, and the waiter even smiled.

Second, we now know Noah loves to sing. This is very good in our family, but he’s started singing all kinds of random English phrases which is absolutely hilarious. So he’ll be walking around singing, “Hhhheeeeelllllpppp meeeeee! Yellow and blue!!!! Oh yea, wow, wow, wow!!!! Go to schooooooool!!!!!” I find it very endearing how much he’s trying to learn English, and the singing is just cracking me up! This morning he woke up singing in Chinese, but at least it was a phrase we knew – he was singing “Chi fan, chi fan, chi fan” which means, “I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry” over and over and since we could relate, we took him to breakfast. 🙂

Lego is a great ice breaker for new siblings!

Out of focus, but high five from dad for a game of tic tac toe won!

At our first dinner together – Toby is quite a bit taller, but they were about the same sitting down, and Noah liked that – kept measuring himself again Toby

New ge ge (big brother) and di di (little brother) drawing silly pictures on the magna doodle

We got safely into Beijing Saturday night China time, spent the night and then took a bullet train to Jinan, the capital of Shandong Province where Noah is from. We have to adopt him here, and so we met him here. There was a delay because someone in the civil service office was out of town, so we had to wait an extra day here. That was hard, but we have been told it likely won’t affect our paperwork (which is very important as our entire schedule, plane tickets, etc. are all already set and paid for based on the first schedule), but we figure God’s got the timing. In the end it was probably good, because the extra day really helped all of us adjust our body clocks and that was important because we needed it tonight!

How do I say how it went? God was so good to us and all the prayers for Noah’s fear and feeling of safety seem to have been answered! He looked sort of shell-shocked when he got to our room, and really looked like he wasn’t even sure what was happening, but he wasn’t scared. He didn’t want much to do with us at the beginning. He said I didn’t look quite like my picture and that Nathan was very tall. He stayed very close to John, our translator, at the beginning and was trying not to cry a few times, but overall he was amazingly calm and brave. He seemed to warm up fairly quickly and was very interested in the letters we brought from our Chinese friends Fanny, Cindy, and FeiXiang and seemed very happy to know that there were people in his new hometown who could talk to him right away. He wanted to hear about his school and the hospital and was nervous about surgery. He also told us he is very excited about our dogs and that he would have siblings because “it would never be boring alone stuff” at our house.

Then we showed him one of the small Lego sets we brought for him, and he immediately said he wanted to put it together with ge ge (his older brother) and then seemed really happy that the girls wanted to do it too. The four of them put it together on the bed next to us while we did paperwork. The adoption worker with him was very nervous for him, and wanted to make sure that we understood not to tax his heart, and for sure, we’ve already seen that if he walks too fast or climbs stairs his lips turn blue. This is a problem because he’s also clearly a boy and has places to go! When we are walking with him, he wants to get there! Our cardiologist in the States has told us that we can’t hurt him – his body will simply stop and rest if he’s overtaxed himself and it won’t harm his heart – but it still makes his caretakers here nervous. It makes us nervous too, and we’re taking it slow and happy we brought a stroller for him.

We had to walk to a photographer and have official pictures taken for his adoption paperwork tomorrow. Then we were done, and everyone left. We showed him how to play Uno, and he seemed a little concerned that he didn’t understand but was almost immediately teasing everyone, and saying, “Yea!” every time someone played a Draw 2 or Draw 4 on someone else. He wanted to play a number of times and seemed to really like it. We went to dinner and that went well, stopped at the supermarket to buy water and he was willing to hold my hand when we crossed the street.

Back at the hotel we played one more game of Uno and watched a little bit of Robin Hood and then everyone took showers. Rachel showed him how to play Temple Run on her kindle and now the whole family knows how to say “jump!” and “duck!” in Mandarin. We told him it was time to take a shower and brush his teeth and he did great and didn’t even seem to think it was too weird. We put him to bed next to Toby and they both went right to sleep.

I don’t think it’s possible that it could have gone any better. I know we are in what adoption people call “the honeymoon phase” and I know at some point he will start grieving. His foster family wrote us a heartbreaking letter and told us what a blessing he’d been to them for 7 years – I can’t even imagine. They were very good to him, and the only family he’s known and he just left them this morning. He was clearly trying to be good and fit in with us and even be a little silly.

We think the the biggest problem is going to be communication. He’d obviously smart and wants to talk and tell us lots of stuff, and we’re all frustrated that he can’t and that we can’t. But he was already saying a few numbers and colors when we were playing Uno and a few phrases he’d obviously learned in English class like “Go to school!” whenever we’d say “Let’s go.”

I don’t really know what I’m feeling tonight. I wish we could talk to him, but I’m so thankful that he at least doesn’t seem scared of us at all. Scared of the US, sure. Scared about surgery, definitely. But not scared of us, and that is a tremendous answer to prayer.

I will blog more later about China when there’s time and space for it and it’s easier to get pictures up. Some very interesting experiences for us, especially as in this city of 8 million people, Caucasians are rare enough that everyone was stopping, staring, sometimes following us, taking pictures and video of us, and even asking if they could pose for pictures with our family. It was pretty uncomfortable but also kind of funny, especially the woman who tracked us from the adjoining aisle through the entire grocery store staring without ceasing over the shelves as if covering up the lower two thirds of her made her invisible to us. The octopus on a stick. The smog that makes your eyes water as soon as you step outside and means many people routinely wear masks. The incredible beauty and contrast we’ve already seen between the ultra modern and the ancient butting right up against each other. We’ve only been here a few days, and it’s already been an amazing experience. But right now, I’m about done emotionally, and so we’ll go to bed and adopt Noah tomorrow and see what the day brings.

Please keep praying for us! This is going to be a big transition, but we’re all happy to have a new di di (little brother) in the family!

Noah, here we come

What a strange feeling. How to sum up what you’re thinking on your last day in the States before traveling to China to meet your new son? Terrifying. Exhausting. So excited! Teary about everything. So. Much. To. Do.

So, I’m just taking a second to reflect. One year ago today, literally, on March 3rd, 2015 my husband was having his normal quiet time when he says he felt gut-punched by this in John 21: “Jesus said, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He answered, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Take care of my sheep.’” Nathan said it was like he’d never read it before. Like God just leveled him and said, “Nathan, if you love me, take care of my sheep.” He got up and told me we needed to look at adoption right now.

Let me back up a bit. I’ve been doing this ministry of speaking and music for about 10 years now. Almost from the beginning we have partnered with different groups advocating for children in need. Children in poverty. Children in trafficking. Orphans. God has placed that burden on both of our hearts, and Nathan and I have had some incredible opportunities to travel around the world and see how these kids are really living. We’ve seen what needs to be done and what can happen when Jesus’ people step out in faith and love people radically, not just with words, but with actions and in truth (1 John 3:18).

My heart’s been open for a long time to adoption, but Nathan wasn’t there, and I knew we needed to be in agreement. We worked to get kids sponsored and sponsor a lot of kids ourselves. Then, in November of 2014, we went to Nicaragua with Compassion and when we came home, Nathan said, “I think it’s time we talked about adoption seriously.”

Then I was the one with cold feet. What, now? Our kids were 16, 13, and 10. Our life was busy but frankly easier. The kids are very independent. We love our time with them and are very close. What if we mess this up? Why mess with a good thing? Let’s be real – I was afraid.

2 Tim. 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

I told Nathan we should pray about it. And we did. And felt we were supposed to look into it, but when I got to all the paperwork, all the hoopla, all the MONEY, holy cannoli, I can’t do this! And I was afraid.

2 Tim. 1:7 “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

Then came March 3rd. Nathan came and told me he was just feeling this burden – we couldn’t wait. Of course, now we know that it’s because of Noah – they were doing his paperwork to list him again in November, right when we were in Nicaragua talking about adopting, and the Chinese government had given our agency only until May to find him a family. After that, they were going to pull his file because the chance of him being matched was too low to justify the paperwork. His time was running out.

We prayed and there was such a peace, because God reminded me that I’m not the one who’s going to do it – He is. We started praying right them for our child, that He would bring us exactly who He had for our family and that we would know it.

All along Nathan and I knew we were interested in adopting a child who would have a harder time being placed. We have older children – we aren’t afraid of that. When we’re in other countries, we’re often playing with older kids who don’t speak our language, and they are great. We knew we wanted to look at older kids. I was afraid of major medical, but I decided to leave that in God’s hands. He knew who He had for us.

About a month later we had an agency and they had sent me to look at a few waiting children in Uganda. They have their waiting children listed on a page that is alphabetical by country, so I had to scroll through China to get to Uganda. I was scrolling, and I felt the Holy Spirit whisper to my heart, “Stop. Look at that boy.”

I stopped and saw Noah for the first time. Of course, at the time I didn’t know Noah was my son, but I read his description and thought if someone had written a description of my son, Toby, that would have been it. He was two years younger than Toby, he loves legos and reading and school and soccer. Only one scary thing – he had a bad heart.

We decided to pray about him and moved on. I was not feeling like I wanted to deal with his heart. Three days later I was on a site that has over 3000 waiting kids and again, I was scrolling when I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to my heart, “Stop. Look at that boy.” I did, and I was halfway through the description before I realized this was the same boy, it was just a different picture.

Well, that was it really. We asked for his file and started praying about it seriously. At the time, we were told his heart had been fixed and he would just be a little less active than other boys. We got matched officially. And then the next day a cardiologist sat us down and told us how serious it was. It’s very serious. Not at all what we were thinking. And it felt like a death sentence for one of our kids. We were devastated, and went home, but Nathan said to me, “How could we ever live with ourselves if we said no to this boy?” and he was absolutely right. And my immediate thought was clearly from the Lord. It was this: Our job here is not to live a long time. Our job here is to know Jesus. And if we could help this boy know Jesus, we would be giving him eternal life, whether his life here is long or short. So we said yes.

That was last May. We were matched about two weeks before Noah’s deadline. It’s been a long year. Lots of waiting. Lots of praying. Praying that it won’t be too late for him to have surgery as the wait goes on and on, praying that he’ll know immediately that we are safe and love him, praying that he’ll be able to love us back, praying that he’ll know Jesus.

And now, suddenly, here we are. We leave tomorrow. We fly literally to the other side of the world, sleep one night and take a train and then poof, we’re there! He’s there. It’s unbelievable. Pretty soon I can stop imagining how it will be because I will know. Pretty soon I’ll know what size he wears and how active he can be and what he likes to eat, how his hair feels when I ruffle it, whether he’s a hugging kid or more of a high-fiver. These are all things we’ll know. In just a few days he’ll legally be our son. I can start talking about “the boys” because Toby will have a brother. Crazy stuff, that.

This year has been a lesson for me. A lesson in patience. A lesson in trusting God. A lesson in serving and being willing even when my heart doesn’t feel willing. A lesson in being brave. A lesson that God can make you brave even when you know you are a coward. And a reminder over and over and over that this is a precious child of God who is valuable! He is and will be a blessing.

Psalm 127:3 “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”

We are going thousands and thousands of miles for one little boy with an imperfect heart. Jesus literally came down from heaven for you and me, and he did it even though our imperfections can’t even be numbered.

He loves these kids. They didn’t ask to be orphans. They are a blessing and they are His. And we love Jesus, so yes, we will take care of one more of His sheep. And I know we will be blessed doing it.

Setting up at Beautiful Savior

My husband’s awkward angle from the side at Bethel 🙂

This past week has been busy. We’re definitely in a hurry up and wait kind of place with the adoption – paperwork needed yesterday, and then nothing for several days. Waiting and waiting until appointments confirm and then a flurry of travel planning. But this past week I also did several events which were a lot of work and also a blessing!

Last weekend I went and shared about our adoption at my old church during their Sunday services. There are so many people there whom we love, and they’ve been so supportive of this ministry over the years, we just wanted to keep them in the loop. I sang a new song I wrote recently for Noah too, and that was very well received. They had a time of prayer for us too which was very sweet.

Then yesterday was a marathon of a day. I went to Beautiful Savior Church up in Powell about 20 minutes north of my house and did a women’s conference on the book of Esther. We had such a great time and had many kids sponsored which always says so much about a church’s heart, I think. They were great to work with and Esther is one of my favorites, so it was a wonderful morning!

Then I headed home, ate something, changed and packed again and then headed out to Bethel Church about 15 minutes south of my house. Bethel graciously offered to host us for a benefit concert for our adoption we called “Bring Noah Home.” They are a wonderful church, and we’ve had ties with them literally throughout my entire life. The pastor there now, Jerry, met the Lord in my dad’s Young Life club, and when he introduced me he said, “I’ve known Jennifer since before she was born.” Lol! It was a wonderful night, and again, we have just been blown away by the care and prayers people have given us and the support for Noah – it was amazing. We appreciate you so much, Bethel!

And then this morning I got up and thought, “Wait, that’s it. That’s my last event as a mom of three.” Our next big thing is to go get Noah. It’s a little shocking! But I can’t wait to meet him!

The women at Rothbury Community Church in Michigan

At Saranac Community Church in MI

Originally, we had hoped to be going to get Noah at Christmas time. Because of that, I hadn’t booked any events after December 15th, just not knowing what our schedule would be. Then, because of paperwork delays and then Chinese New Year, etc., etc., it soon became clear that we were more likely to be going in March.

This is hard because people plan their events out farther, and it’s been really tough not knowing when we were going to be out of the country! Well, when we realized we were going to be around, I started praying that God would open some doors so I wasn’t just twiddling my thumbs for two months, and also because we were realizing that it would be really helpful if we could raise some more money for our adoption. Almost immediately Rothbury Church asked me if I could still come up and do their women’s dinner, and then the next day Saranac Church asked if I would come up and tell our story at their church just an hour away! Pretty awesome how God works.

I ended up taking my daughter, Rinnah, with me on the weekend and we went a day early and checked out both Hope College and Calvin College. I still can’t believe we are doing this. She’s a junior, so we’re planning ahead, but it’s hard to imagine her leaving home – I love that girl! We had a great time together too. And it was fun for me personally to go back to Hope. That’s where I went for undergrad, where I met my husband, and most significantly, where I first understood the grace of God. Rinnah and I were sitting in chapel, this place where I played my recitals and sang in the choir with my husband-then-boyfriend and I was there with my beautiful daughter who loves Jesus listening to all these college kids in a standing room only chapel singing their hearts out to the Lord, and I was just overwhelmed – how could God bless me any more? And how well I know how little I deserve it. He is so good to me!

The next night at Rothbury was so fun – just lovely ladies and fun to work with them! Several of them had heard me teach at a retreat up there several years ago, which is hilarious because that retreat was the first and only time in my whole career that I lost my voice! God must have been moving, though, because they wanted me to come back! We had a great night together!

Then I headed down to Saranac, a church that I would describe as “small but mighty!” Seriously, I’ve been there several times, and they are a small country church with the biggest hearts ever! They specifically wanted to support our adoption of Noah, and I was so touched by that. So fun to get to hang out with my friend, Tina, too – she organized the event and every time I’m there, she’s such a blessing. Overall a great weekend!

Then, last night I did a women’s conference with my friend, Melissa Spoelstra at her church, Encounter, here in Columbus. I was talking to Melissa about ideas for my couple of months unexpectedly home, and she said, “Let’s put something together!” Melissa is also a speaker and author, so we did an event called “Adopted” and she taught on all of us being adopted by God, and I gave a concert and told our story about Noah. Their church was just so generous to us! They are in a space they have to re-set every time and a huge group of men came out and set everything up just for us and then tore it all down again, and they did it all just to help Noah get home. We were so blessed! These couple of months are reminding me how truly blessed I am to get to know so many amazing people of God! They have made us feel so loved! Sadly, I apparently forgot my camera that night!

We so appreciate your prayers, and many people have asked us how they can help! Here are several ways:

If you’re in the Columbus, OH area, come to one of these events, bring your friends, and like and share them!

Feb. 4th at 7 pm at Encounter Church in Dublin, I will be doing a one-night women’s conference called “Adopted” with my good friend and Abingdon Women speaker, Melissa Spoelstra. All proceeds go to support Noah’s adoption and medical expenses. All the info can be found here!

Feb. 20th at 7 pm at Bethel Church in Columbus, I will be doing a family concert that is open to all. All proceeds go to support Noah’s adoption and medical expenses. All the info for that one can be found here!

If you’re not in the Columbus area, you can make a donation to Noah’s adoption and medical expense through PayPal on our contact us page here. If you scroll down a bit to the section that says “Support Jennifer’s Ministry,” you will see the PayPal link and you can leave us a note that it’s for Noah.

We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your help!

We got some updated pictures of our precious dragon – he looks so grown up!

Okay, I know that this year is technically the year of the monkey (and if we’re getting super technical, Chinese New Year isn’t until Feb. 8), but since I don’t believe in the Chinese zodiac anyway and I’m in the US and today is our New Year’s, I’m changing the name! For our family, at least, this is the Year of the Dragon. Year of the Precious Dragon, to be precise. 🙂

We haven’t been allowed to release our new son, Noah’s, Chinese name, but I can tell you that it translates to “precious dragon.” What I love about this so much is that dragons are the symbol of China. Our son was abandoned because of his heart condition. No one adopted him because of his heart condition. Special needs children are often abandoned in Chinese society because of the pressures of the One Child Policy. He was not precious in the eyes of China. But to us, he is precious. And to God, he is priceless. God’s love for this boy is unmatched, and I love that his name reminds me that he is precious, and he is from China. He is our precious dragon! His Chinese name will legally become his middle name and Noah will be his first name, but if he wants us to use his Chinese name, we will – we do not want him to lose such an important piece of his identity.

We are likely leaving in six or eight weeks. He will stay with us the entire three weeks we’re in China completing all the paperwork to finalize his adoption and immigration to the US. I can’t wait to meet him!

Here’s a quick overview of our trip:

Day 1-2 Travel via Beijing to the capital of Noah’s province in northern China
Day 3 Meet Noah!
Day 4 Adopt Noah! Apply for his passport.
Day 5-14 Waiting for the passport, so we will do some traveling both to Noah’s hometown and in Beijing to understand more of his history and Chinese culture.
Day 15-19 Fly down to Guangzhou in southern China for Noah’s medical clearance, visa process, and immigration process.
Day 20 or 21 Bring Noah home. 🙂

Hey, all, quick post – we’re doing a Christmas special to support our adoption of Noah. Our Christmas card CDs are marked way down to $35 for 10 which is less than you might pay for a regular card in the store and these have a 3-song Christmas CD tucked inside! Also, for every physical order of a full-length CD or book this Christmas, we’re going to send you a free Christmas CD! And if you download an album, we’ll send you a free download of my Christmas single “Christmas is Forever.” So head over to the store and help us get Noah home!

Speaking of my Christmas single, it’s been really fun to see how many stations have picked that up this Christmas season – we’re on about 60 stations right now that we know of. Feel free to call your station and request the song – that helps more than you know!

And I also had an article come out in Crosswalk.com this week called “5 Ways to Put the Spirit of Thanksgiving Into Christmas” – you can check that out here!